Today, God’s had me in the middle of the pain. Fresh. Unrelenting pain. Oh it hurts so much. And deep on my heart He’s laid you. Before we move to His voice, I cannot move without recognizing and acknowledging that most of us are hurting in one way or another.
The sin smothers and causes decay, and we breathe in the deadly toxin it gives off, and our lungs choke and grasp for breath and new air. It is a cancer that eats away at who we are and who we are becoming.
So much brokenness in our hearts, we can barely move. So much going on here in my world, and I wonder about yours, what things are you doing, what is causing you pain, where is He moving?
I’ve been volunteering and facilitating a bible study at a women’s shelter in town, and be still my wounded heart! I was there this morning, and I was reminded of how different people’s lives are, and I thought of you. Of how I don’t know your wounds and how you are struggling to be healed. You in this broken world of fallen people.
When I started out blogging, I wondered if I could find connection like so many others do, because I am so talented at not connecting. But after I started this blog, I’ve made so many new friends, who are like kindred spirits to me.
Here’s a comment I got from one such friend, Jacqui, at Faith and Simplicity:
Truthfully, I am hurting deeply right now, and I heal through my vulnerability. But I can’t be vulnerable, because my situation involves too many people. Do you think there’s a time to be silent and trust God to work? I guess that’s what I’m doing, and everything in me fights to speak up, to speak out! My flesh wants to scream the truth, but for some reason God wants me to bear this alone (well, with my husband)…and I think it’s because He wants to be my defense. And anything I say sounds like I’m being defensive…and any attempt to be vulnerable has only led to misunderstandings. So I know it’s vague, but I’m interested in hearing your thoughts, if you have time. Love you and praying for you, friend!
First of all, I would ask God to give you wisdom. Pray. Be vulnerable with God and with your husband. If, for example, you think that not sharing truthfully will cause bitterness to take root and grow, then at some point, you will need to share. However, with a number of people involved, you need to be be sure and address the most appropriate people and not everyone. In my experience, I am often more silent than I should be, so God often wants me to speak up and speak out, because I am so often fearful to do so.
However, when I am freshly hurt, it is often unwise for me to share in the deepest part of the pain. I am an introvert like you Jacqui. And time and space from the situation allows me to heal a bit and then gives me clarity in listening to what others need to say to me and I can receive it more gracefully, instead of defensively, so you may not be defensive, but others in the situation may be. I cannot give insight directly to your situation because 1) I don’t know the whole story, and 2) I am not God. If you will lay down your burden at His feet and ask Him to speak wisdom to your situation, I believe He will. As I am writing, the Lord keeps laying on my heart to share with you Psalm 62. Anything God has said to you through me, ask him to confirm with the Holy Spirit – to keep the good advice and remove the bad. Love and hugs to you.
Today, if you would be so willing to share your pain with me vulnerably, please send me an email, and I will be in prayer for you! If not, please know that today, we are pausing to recognize that life is hard and to let this topic of His covering breathe onto your raw and painful places. Let it be a balm to your weary soul to know that He covers you!