Meandering Thoughts on Homosexuality

A few months ago I found a boy blog that looked interesting.  {I say boy blog because it was written by a man, not a woman, mom, or wife.}  He was struggling with God and life.  I often stumble upon liberal thinking Christian blogs.  I like to read them to challenge me and my way of thinking, to either change me for the good or to nail down my own thoughts about a subject.  Anyhow, his blog seemed a little liberal in thinking, but it did not bother me.  Then, weeks later, he came out of the closet as man with sometimes gay tendencies, calling himself bisexual.  And then…well then there has been a dilemma.  Not in whether to read his thoughts or associate with him, but in how to leave a comment when I don’t think he’s pursuing truth.  For now, I simply listen and read his story.

I’ve been struggling with the ideas of grace and homosexuality for a while now.  Some of my Facebook friends are openly gay, and some of them are closet gays, and I want to be sensitive to them.  I read their posts, and I feel heavy, not out of judgment but because I ache for them to know my Jesus and His incredible grace and power.  I assume, perhaps wrongly, that they do not know Him.

One friend in particular lives a full and beautiful life as a gay man.  He is well-loved and everyone he knows seems to adore him.  I remember finding him on Facebook or back in the day, MySpace, and realizing that he was gay, and feeling like a dork not to know that he was gay when I sat next to him in high school.  He is unequivocally so, when I look back and see him with fresh new eyes.  I was too naive to realize what was before my eyes back then.

When I was a child, I could not, would not wrap my mind around a good God creating a man or woman to have gay tendencies.  My mind was too limited in that.  So I would solve the problem by assuming that God never created gay men or women.  This was before I realized that I myself was born a sinner and that we could not choose to be good on our own.  In my mind, people obviously were choosing the gay lifestyle, which could certainly be true of some people.  But I think now that some people are born with this inherent about them. But I’m not God, just simply speculating.

We are born in sin.  All of us are this way.  We all have some sins we are more prone to than others.  So in my mind, I have no trouble believing that a good God could create men and women who want to be gay.  But I’ve never been gay, and I’ve never had to reconcile this in my mind, that God is still good even if I cannot be who I feel is naturally me.  I have had Jesus point His finger at me and tell me that I could not be who I thought I should be however.  And He was gentle and loving when he did it.  Like a parent, how he disciplines seems to be based on how willing I am to behave and cooperate with His suggestions.

So do I believe that homosexual behavior is wrong?  I believe the Bible says it is.

Do I cast judgment on those who are homosexuals?  No.

The problem for me is how do I openly accept men and women as homosexuals as Jesus would but also speak the truth in love?  Jesus offers the same invitation to them as to me.

How do I say I don’t agree with what you define as truth to be truth but express “I still love you” without offending? How do I write a blog post like this and still show my love?  In my mind this is not a matter of being tolerant but of extending love.  I know that by simply stating my view can and will divide.

My Facebook friends know my blog.  I know that many assume that I would not accept them as they are just because they can assume my position from what they read.  When I wrote this post on hospitality, I thought of the gay community.  I think I should be able to see gay men and women worshiping God beside me in my church. I know I am seen as goody two shoes even though I am not.  I am one of those Jesus freaks, and I am okay being called that, but I don’t want you to make assumptions because of it.

Jesus loves gay men and women.  He asks me to love gay men and women.  I want gay men and women to feel safe to visit here.  I don’t want the fact that I am a Jesus lover to cause people to visit and leave, assuming that I would not accept them.  Jesus accepts you.  I know you want to be a gay person and you don’t want Jesus to tell you that you can’t be one.  I will not weaken my message of who I believe Jesus is just to get you to stay however.  Grace is powerful.  The gospel of Jesus is powerful.  It unites instead of divides, and that is not what we see in the world today.  We see a distinct line between Christians and homosexuals.

In the Bible, when Paul visited Ephesus, he simply spoke the truth about the radical things Christ had done.  The city was full of idolaters, men and women who worshiped Diana, the god of fertility, as well as men and a lot of women who were homosexuals.  He didn’t divide his message.  He simply spoke the truth of who Christ is.  And men and women left Diana and their gay lifestyles to follow Him.  It is not my job to tell some one when the Holy Spirit will convict them.   I cannot expect gays to just suddenly be not gay. But I expect if God finds homosexuality a sin, He will give them an unnatural power not to act on it.  He brings truth to light.  When He does it for each individual is not for me to decide.

Here’s a great post by a gay Christian.  He appears to know and love the same Jesus I do.

The following song speaks volumes on this to me:

Casting Crowns – Jesus, Friend of Sinners (Official Music Video) from casting-crowns on GodTube.

Please leave kind and respectful comments to this conversation or they will be deleted.  Thank you.

Life In Bloom

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  1. I have been thinking
    about this topic – and sin in general – for several months in a similar way
    that you express here.  You know my biggest sin struggle, Jamie.  The
    one I shamefully admit still plagues me at times despite the fact that I have
    tasted freedom from it.  While I would love to say, “That’s just the
    way God made me” and continue living that sinful pattern, you and I both
    know that I would not be experiencing the grace of God.  I would be
    experiencing life in the muck and mire of my own sin.  Everyone is born a
    sinner.  Everyone just has different sinful struggles.  I have mine;
    you have yours.  We all have to give those struggles to the only one who
    can wash them away.  Romans 6:1-2…  “What shall we say
    then?  Are we to continue to sin that grace may about?  By no
    means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it?”

  2. Aharrisathome says:

    Funny, this topic came up just this weekend. Love. When it comes down to it we are simply told to love God and love others. So, above all we are to love.

    When God allows an opportunity or we are asked we are to speak truth just as Paul did. The Bible clearly states what is sin. I am guilty of most all the things on His list as I suppose most of us are.

    Jesus was a friend to outcasts/sinners. He loved sinners of which I am one of the greatest! It is beyond me why He would choose to love me or anyone. Because of that love it causes me to want to love others. I think that is grace in action.

    I believe I was likely born with the tendancy to be an alcoholic. I am not an alcoholic but I have dabbled with alcohol enough to know that I like it a bit too much. Today I choose not to drink because there is too much evidence that it will lead me down a sinful path. I really think being gay may be similar in nature. People may be born with that tendancy but have the freewill to choose to act upon it or not.

    But here is the sticky area for me….unrepentant sin. If someone refuses to acknolwedge sin that poses a challenge. It’s not a challenge beyond God but it is a challenge. An alcoholic who refuses to admit an addiction or may want to change but makes choices that continue to be distructive, so I believe is a person who is actively living a gay lifestyle. Do I love them less? No – perhaps I love them more! However, if I truly love them….I would likely invest in them enough and love them in a manner to find truth not to cover sin.

    God is the only judge and His Spirit is the only thing that can bring repentance. Neither of those is my job.  My job is to love.

    • Unrepentant sin is always a sticky area.  We are commanded to discipline people caught in sin, which includes telling truth and it can get more extreme.  I think we need to be prayed up before we speak those truthful words and Spirit led as well.  And take a look in the mirror first to see what areas, if any, we need repentance.  Sometimes, we mistake certain sins to be greater than other sins, so we think it is okay to say whatever we want.

      As for church discipline, I’ve not seen a whole lot of it.  I wonder how many people need to be disciplined, but are not, because they hide their sin.  Anyway, separate thought from this subject.

  3. Kristen Berry says:

    I have these same thoughts on homosexuality.  Love the sinner, hate the sin.  I don’t condemn gay people and have had gay friends throughout my life.  But I do not like being told that believing homosexuality is a sin is intolerance.  I don’t like children being taught that homosexuality is okay in schools that my tax dollars support.  Would I love an alcoholic?  Yes.  Would I tell my children it’s okay to be an alcoholic?  No.  Would I be okay with schools teaching my children that people are born alcoholics so we should be okay with that behavior?  Absolutely not.  While that scenario seems ridiculous, the same goes for homosexuality in my mind.  The evils of alcoholism are apparent.  The evils of homosexuality are more subtle, but still there.

    • The problem seems to be that each person stands on two sides of the fence on what truth is.  Truth cannot change or be relative.  It is absolute.  If that makes me intolerant, then I am.  But I am still be sympathetic to their plight in my “intolerance.”

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